tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-23376475586519655322024-03-21T20:00:56.870+00:00fashionable idiociesThis and that occurring to Lawrence UptonLawrence Uptonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04525384870474390208noreply@blogger.comBlogger211125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2337647558651965532.post-35939469166468960912013-11-12T14:33:00.001+00:002013-11-12T14:33:07.587+00:00Religion News
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
As the propositions of the fool Iain
Duncan Smith come under greater attack, he relies on the approach of
the cleric. Argued into a corner on his own terms on <b>Today</b><span style="font-weight: normal;">
a few weeks ago, he virtually shouted “But I believe it”.</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-weight: normal;">I
think I am right in saying that our army is currently fighting a war
in Afghanistan against people who have adopted the same mode of logic</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-weight: normal;">More
recently on some programme or other on Radio 4 Esther McVey uttered
the same words to sidestep the requested response to a similar
demolition of some crap she had uttered. When it was a television
presenter Ms McVey presented The Heaven and Earth Show</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<span style="font-weight: normal;">Today
Mr Andrew Coyne, in The Business Desk 12</span><sup><span style="font-weight: normal;">th</span></sup><span style="font-weight: normal;">
November 2013, reports Michael Heseltine as follows: "All over
the world governments are making decisions about a future which they
cannot predict but in which they believe."</span></div>
Lawrence Uptonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04525384870474390208noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2337647558651965532.post-55305494238010537032013-10-29T18:31:00.002+00:002013-10-29T18:31:11.979+00:00A HuntJeremy Hunt is found to have acted illegally a second time, this time by the appeal court. Instead of apologising for his crime and for wasting our money, he insists he was morally right and will change the law so that another time it'll be ok.<br />
<br />
I'm afraid I can't think of an insult disgusting enoughLawrence Uptonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04525384870474390208noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2337647558651965532.post-40750747441756086072013-10-29T18:14:00.003+00:002013-10-29T18:14:59.944+00:00Illiteracy
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
According to the BBC website “Grayson
Perry asks if revolution is a defining idea in art, or has it met its
end?” Actually, I think he suggested that art has met its end; not
revolution.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Some hours later, Naomi Campbell
responded to a question: “It's not ignorance; it's not knowing”</div>
Lawrence Uptonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04525384870474390208noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2337647558651965532.post-37745968199674119312013-07-04T15:00:00.002+01:002013-07-04T15:00:37.444+01:00FacebookI'll say this in the light of Mr Snowden, and in the light of a nice Bell cartoon today of an ear extending to wrap around Morales' plane<br /><br />I think the following message to Facebook puts it clearly: “I do not want a Facebook account. Every now and then you write to me as if we are old friends. When I just unsubbed you said you had amended your records or something. I don't want you having any record of me. I think you are despicable. Please confirm you have entirely deleted your record of me”<br /><br />This was after Facebook wrote to me chatty and said I seemed to be missing out. You know, the way a god salesman tells you how they are pleased to see you.<br /><br />I unsubbed although they had subbed me without my knowledge; and they said they had updated my preferences. <br /><br />My problem was that I wanted to know where the “fuck off” button is. In reply to the message above they said “Thanks for your feedback. We aren't responding to each email we receive through this channel, but we may reach out to you for more info as we work on improving this experience.”<br /><br />So these dog turds with business qualifications decide if they reply or not to a request that they stop their harassment. It seems to be impossible to get a response. Kafka's Castle anyone?<br />Lawrence Uptonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04525384870474390208noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2337647558651965532.post-38024088117956807072013-06-26T13:54:00.004+01:002013-06-26T13:54:49.585+01:00Dungheads & pointlessness
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
I havent written here recently for a
variety of reasons including a sense of pointlessness. I thought back
nearly 20 years to when my employer decided to victimise me and
another union activist for standing up for our colleagues' rights
although those colleagues did precious little to help themselves.
When this happened, those colleagues paused briefly in their endless
asking “What has the union ever done for me?” to declare us both
trouble makers who were getting what we deserved – the impetus to
obedience driving them.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
This morning I thought that I must
write though because I read in the paper that young people are
turning to the Tories because of their imposition of the bedroom tax.
This was in The Guardian and wasnt some wet dream of the Daily Mail.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
How could this be? I wondered. The
answer would seem to be that those young people are Dungheads, like
much of the rest of the population. In no way could one support the
policy rationally – i.e. I challenge anyone to make the case. At
best it would a demand to be given some of the action at the expense
of others without doing anything oneself, like brats having
tantrums.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
But I am busy and a bit under the
weather and was going to let it go. What is the point of writing that
people are Dungheads when people are Dungheads?</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
And then I arrived at the cafe where I
work, because it has wifi and where the official propaganda
encourages you to work in a quiet atmosphere, to find a dune of
shouting mothers and screaming babies occupying two thirds of the
tables with electricity and blocking access to all the others with
armoured personnel carriers.
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
I asked them politely to move these
vehicles so I could get through and was just waved away. So I said
they were selfish and moved a table out and clambered in. Tell him to
fuck off, said one.
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
I worked. After a while one baby began
screaming piercingly and was ignored, which is why presumably it was
screaming; and I gave in and said For God's sake shut it up.
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Trying and failing to be suave, the
mother turned to me and told me to go to the library if I wanted
quiet.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Clearly she has not been to the
library. The library is full of screaming adults and children running
riot. That's when it's open.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
I said This place is supposed to be
quiet.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
No it isn't, she said, without
hesitation.
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
So I was dealing with religion. To
confirm that there was a mothers' knot of voices as various of them
shouted at me their opinion. From what I could gather, which was
little, most of them were not relevant to the exchange; but whenever
has the believer made a pertinent reply to an objection? It was
pointless to reply because their aim was not to reach agreement but
to impose their will.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
But of course I am wrong. I forget that
there are only 7 billion of us, that there is empty cheap housing,
places in schools and an abundance of open space. I forget that
children are best socialised by being given no guidance.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
In due course their attention gave out,
they forgot what they were doing there, and they left, a few hurling
insults as they left. It reminded me of trying to teach teenagers in
school.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
And then some business types arrived. I
committed some of it to memory but the memory has turned to sludge.
None of them were actually making anything or doing anything useful.
It was all, as so often, the application of Onanism to
administration.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
The place is full of people with babies
all inordinately proud of their achievement in reproducing, though
flies can do that.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
As Timon said, More Man. I may as well
post it. Perhaps one of my enemies will read it and become so angry
they have a heart attack.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br />
</div>
<br />Lawrence Uptonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04525384870474390208noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2337647558651965532.post-60569141505110446482013-06-06T17:31:00.002+01:002013-06-06T17:32:33.471+01:00A sample of the electorate<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
I just had an
“interesting” experience, sitting in a branch of Caffe Nero.
There was some kind of family group in and they were worshipping a
child. They shouted and the child shouted. The more noise they all
made the happier they all were. The child could speak but they all
spoke baby language and the child joined in to ingratiate itself</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
I had been
concentrating on what I was doing, but at the time it was fairly
routine. However, it came to a point where the noise the child was
making, and it was a child and not a baby, were painful – what is
sometimes called ear-splitting. It was way beyond not being able to
work. (Caffe Nero say they think one can work in their cafes.)</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
I called out to them to
keep it down and they gestured at me in a sort of 2001 opening scene
sort of way and went on encouraging their child to join them in
making pre-verbal noise.</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
This repeated several
times and the more that they refuted my arguments with their detailed
analysis and rhetoric, the more self-righteous their grunting
gestures became.</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
No one else complained.
They just got up and left. People are coming in now. Now there are 6.</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
You might think the
staff would tell them off. Three or four of them were occupying about
1/5<sup>th</sup> of the entire place. One of the staff has just spent
some time returning the furniture to its place where the adults and
child had displaced it by running up and down. They were disruptive.</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
But I infer that the
staff are not allowed to tell people off. If they have money, take it
off them. That's the policy</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
There came a moment
when the child uttered a really painful scream and I flipped -
shouted at them to bloody shut up. The squattest of these early
primates loped over and uttered various phonemes. I found it a little
bit frightening that someone who might just be human was so
incoherent. I asked him what he was saying and eventually pieced
together his propositions.</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
1 <b>That's a child. </b>
</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
It is a fundamental
tenet of all bad parenting that children make an unbearable noise and
cannot be stopped, that to dispute that is to be stupid and that any
child who does not make an unbearable noise is probably exhibiting
signs of disease. Furthermore, parents who discourage their children
from making an unbearable noise are bad parents.
</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
2 <b>This is a public
space and I can make whatever amount of noise I want.</b>
</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
I disputed that and he
refuted my opinion before I had finished it with “course I can”.
I told him he was anti-social and he said fuck off which he seemed to
think was a clincher.</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
It reminded me even
then of a woman who responded here “it doesn't affect you”. When
I disputed that, she said “No it doesnt because it's my child and
not yours.” Some weeks later I had said to an acquaintance, someone
who was becoming a friend, that I wasn't sure I'd be able to spend
time in their home because of their smoking. They said “It doesnt
affect you” When I said it did, no matter how hard we both tried,
she said “It doesnt affect you because it's my choice”</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
At such times I wonder
if there is any point in learning any logic, in learning anything, if
we are subject to this sort of crap. Anyway that was the beginning of
the end of that friendship.
</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
3 <b>If you want to
play, go to the library.</b></div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Now I did find that
impenetrable for some time; but in my quest to communicate with alien
species, I persisted in saying, I confess, what are you burbling
about? and eventually noticed that as the creature was saying this
sentence it was gesturing with one of its forelimbs at my laptop</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
To the creature, the
noise he and his fellow creatures was making was serious and anything
done on a computer is playing. I think that's it. Such play is to be
conducted in the library. I think that's it.</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
And I think that was
when I first used the word “moron”. I am not proud of it. I do
not condemn slugs for being themselves; but I do remain outraged that
someone with such an aggressive and selfish and stupid attitude help
to elect the government.</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
It seemed the noisy one
was incapable of understanding that the objection was to its noise
regardless of what one was doing</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
I do not think they are
morons. I think they are culpable. I think they have never bothered
to think. Before I realised that they only spoke proto Modern
British, I asked them “Where do you get your sense of entitlement
from?” and one replied “We are entitled”</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
This is the reality of the electorate </div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
14 people in here now.</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Funny way to run a
business. But if you have seen some of the regional managers or
whatever they call themselves, you'd understand. Up themselves
smartarses</div>
Lawrence Uptonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04525384870474390208noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2337647558651965532.post-63978741294230287382013-05-25T14:17:00.001+01:002013-05-25T14:17:17.697+01:00The Cloud made Honorary Dungheads for May 2013Further to the last post, I have just been cut off 3 times in 25 minutes -- forced to reconnect, presumably because these fools who would need help masturbating have expanded their business beyond their infrastructure capacity. And they have the Dungheads' sense of entitlement that tells them it's ok to make false promises that we put our trust in and then consequently waste time just so long as they steal a living.<br />
<br />
This must be happening to people all over the country. The reality of green shoots. The Cloud Dungheads for May 2013Lawrence Uptonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04525384870474390208noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2337647558651965532.post-4775876023187479792013-05-25T12:39:00.000+01:002013-05-25T12:39:04.236+01:00Wifi company seeks the Dunghead 2013 prize<br />Nowadays I spend a lot of time connected to the net by The Cloud from branches of Caffe Nero. <br />The trouble is it is a bad service. It takes a lot of effort to connect in some places; and you have to remember that you will almost certainly be cut off without warning, which can lead to loss of data. Sometimes it is within 10 or 15 minutes, sometimes after hours; but in a day it can occur 2 or 3 times and there is no pattern.<br />Often it is difficult to login. Their database is unreliable and records disappear. If the record cannot be found, they post a message (if you're lucky) saying "I'm afraid that's lost with the clouds" or something like that, which I am sure the inane smartarses at The Cloud think is funny. <br />I challenged them on that and they explained that it means "your browser does not allow cookies". I responded that by no stretch of meaning could "I'm afraid that's lost with the clouds" mean "Your browser does not allow cookies" (it was at that moment that I discovered the existence of Modern British, the democratic language structure for evading meaning) and also that my browser does allow cookies.<br />They didn't apologise or admit that they had lied; but they said the message would be altered. It has not been altered.<br />One is referred to this help desk when they do not connect you to the net: they give you an email address. It does not seem to have occurred to them that if they do not connect you then you cannot send an email.<br />But when you do send it, they may or may not answer in about 5 days. They never apologise beyond a railway sorry for anything.<br />But if everything goes well then it is a cheap way of connecting, if you don't mind making sure you always have your current work at least in the RAM of a non-net application and don't mind spending 10 to 15 minutes connecting<br />I have purchased an external wifi receiver because it brings more control. The inbuilt PC system allows Free Pub Wifi across the street to connect; and it fights back if you try to disconnect it. Or else BT cuts in. Where I am, Caffe Nero, they seem to have gone for the cheapest option and the result is it rarely connects of its own will to The Cloud. I have complained to Caffe Nero and they have not bothered to answer.<br />Today I connected to The Cloud at 10:26 a.m. but my browser couldn't find any page. First I had to login. Fair enough, though I have never gained any benefit from them knowing who I am. Supposedly, The Cloud intercepts a call to the web page one chooses and takes you to its login, where, as I said, it may or may not grant you entry. <br />Now when it does that, logs you in, it leaves you there. Clearly the intention was to return you to the page you sought -- you can see that url being passed as an argument of the interception -- but it is at that point their programming skills failed them. I suppose they didn't cut and paste everything. So one must call the page a second time.<br />
But you can't do that if it doesn't intercept. Sometimes, I poll their website myself and that sometimes works; but this morning I had to poll it one hundred and three times before it responded. 102 times The Cloud said it couldnt find the The Cloud website.<br />The website responded at 10:40, 13 minutes after I connected. Free Pub Wifi connects almost immediately so it is just a matter of a trash system.<br />When it responds, it does so with a link to click on. Usually 6 or 7 clicks are all it takes! <br />Then you go to another link to click. The record for that is now 24. <br />I imagine the whole thing running on an Amstrad CP/M machine.<br />It's at this point that you get the "lost with the clouds" crap and from now on have the <br />excitement of guessing when you will be cut off. Yesterday was the latest time that my email was "lost in the clouds" but I was simultaneously welcomed by my correct name so it wasn't lost at all. Who said quantum computing is far in the future. All I had to do was clear my cache and login again and everything was fine.<br />So they waste about 30 minutes of my time each day. On average. It did once tgakes me 3 and a half hours to connect, but I worked on paper while they finished playing with themselves.<br />If the company is really successful, I expect some of them will be made Lords. Then they can lecture us on waste and productivityLawrence Uptonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04525384870474390208noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2337647558651965532.post-90208146433499672672013-05-24T14:43:00.000+01:002013-05-24T14:43:05.041+01:00DUNGHEADS OF THE YEAR 2011, 2012 announcedI can confirm that the first Lawrence Upton DUNGHEAD OF THE YEAR is that irresponsible, greedy corporation EDF, pioneers in the Onanisation of Administration and experts in Modern British Communication. So dedicated are they to these causes that we have backdated the date of the first award of its kind to 2011, so that they were officially dungheads even before the condition was diagnosed.<br />
<br />
More information will be provided over the coming days to make clear how far they exceeded the expectations of the judge and drew away from the contenders Southern Railway, London Borough of Sutton, The Cloud, Sutton & East Surrey Water Co and various others<br />
<br />
No mere Wankers Manqué, they have shown that there is scope for Tosspotism and Faecal Head Syndrome on a megalomaniacal scale in today's business world.<br />
<br />
EDF, every dreary farthead. Congratulate them!Lawrence Uptonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04525384870474390208noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2337647558651965532.post-33738558170617896742013-05-18T12:44:00.000+01:002013-05-18T12:44:59.354+01:00Tories & UKIPs<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
As I said yesterday, I
almost gave up, at least in terms of this blog. What is the point of
saying anything; you just get verbal vomit back except in a few
cases. Coming off the train today, a man stood in the cattle gate the
train company uses to check tickets and stood there. After a while he
looked for his ticket and put it in the wrong orifice – how does
the human race manage to procreate? - and then trotted on, part of
the herd again. It occurs to me that dairy cattle are better at using
human-designed gates than humans.</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
A large minority of the
larger herd known as the electorate voted at the last General
Election for the Conservatives, the party of the moneyed, the liars
and the obscene. They did so on the basis of prejudice, apparently
believing the nasty promises they were told.
</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
The promises have only
been partially kept, thank the vacuum, but the result has been what
any rational thinker would expect. The electorate of course chooses
to believe in their religious way and it is now, in its multicellular
sludge of a consciousness, become dissatisfied; and, in protest, is
voted for UKIP. I recall – I often do – Joyce's Stephen Daedalus
responding to the proposal that he become a Protestant: I said I had
lost my faith, niot myself-respect.</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
It is a measure of the
stupidity which has given the Conservatives power in our travesty of
the idea of democracy that UKIP is now in the ascendant.</div>
Lawrence Uptonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04525384870474390208noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2337647558651965532.post-19109044205595118102013-05-17T18:44:00.000+01:002013-05-17T18:44:24.835+01:00The state of thingsI almost gave up. What is the bloody point? The human race is lardheaded.<br />
<br />
I decided years ago that when Thatcher died I would post Rejoice! everywhere I could in memory of her murder of the crew of the Belgrano and others. When she died I wasn't listening to news and found out a few days later... and I couldnt be bothered. I didn't understand that but went with it. Subsequently I found out that many others thought it a good idea to echo that ridiculous chant of hers.<br />
<br />
Since I have seen a cartoon that speaks for me. Someone says: I haven't felt this indifferent since Princess Diana died.Lawrence Uptonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04525384870474390208noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2337647558651965532.post-24754073211418322612013-02-23T14:05:00.001+00:002013-02-23T14:05:29.905+00:00Gideon Osborne named Buffoon of the Year<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Well what a tub of lard
buffoon Gideon Osborne the chancellor of expectoration now shows
himself. Though we had guessed.</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
Having pursued a course
that has ended in a way that even theclown Balls could see, he says
the result proves that he is right to do it and that he will do more
of it.</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
What's worse,
apparently, this gives a substantial part of the bovine electorate
confidence in his ability with the economy</div>
Lawrence Uptonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04525384870474390208noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2337647558651965532.post-72044433019268725332013-02-15T17:59:00.001+00:002013-02-15T17:59:34.551+00:00Gove is mostly horse say scientists<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">It
did not come as a surprise to me that Michael Gove may be as much as
70% minced horse.</span></span></div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">I
don't see many horses now. There used to be a stables near my house;
but it closed to make way for cars.</span></span></div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">However,
I see them when I walk, and try to have conversations; and quite a
few years ago now I spent around a month on the Lizard peninsula and,
every morning, walked past a field in which there stood a horse and
its foal.</span></span></div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">They
had food supplements brought to them in buckets. It was their habit,
having finished that food to get the buckets on to their heads and stand
there, sometimes shaking their heads, mostly not.</span></span></div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">Alerted
by this, I have looked out for similar behaviour elsewhere, and it does seem
quite a widespread practice, as if horses tend to like to try to get
into the bucket just to make sure it really is empty.</span></span></div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">They
are not that bright.</span></span></div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">And
when I look at Gove or hear him, I think of those horses with buckets
on their heads.</span></span></div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: medium;">Horses
of course are straightforward unmendacious creatures.</span></span></div>
Lawrence Uptonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04525384870474390208noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2337647558651965532.post-91641577361366890152013-02-11T14:04:00.002+00:002013-02-11T14:05:03.398+00:00The welfare of foxes -- a cull is needed urgently<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
The case of the fox
which has been accused of attacking a child is an indication of an
urgent problem that needs solving.</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
As the mayor of London
has said, these creatures "may appear cuddly and romantic” but
they are “a pest and a menace, particularly in our cities."
</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
I would add to that
they are noisy and destructive and spread disease in their
unregulated emission of faeces. They are an economic burden in an overpopulated country. It is high time that we culled
children so that foxes can go about their business undisturbed by
ignorant human beings.</div>
Lawrence Uptonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04525384870474390208noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2337647558651965532.post-22828401935446066472013-02-11T10:54:00.000+00:002013-02-11T14:05:20.488+00:00head in the cloud<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgD_WUl43gy_cKYKXn8Yhg0U1BsnmqDPPsKnw9xCelio3WmhZpXk9bC7MDRickZHpTz3XDSwI2JWcEOtY6Hcjuy7mtfF0O2ulFq9Gptum6NOrvh7qwIQ9-M4pDo5GJlTd68800aS60GAOQ/s1600/cloud+Capture.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="47" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgD_WUl43gy_cKYKXn8Yhg0U1BsnmqDPPsKnw9xCelio3WmhZpXk9bC7MDRickZHpTz3XDSwI2JWcEOtY6Hcjuy7mtfF0O2ulFq9Gptum6NOrvh7qwIQ9-M4pDo5GJlTd68800aS60GAOQ/s320/cloud+Capture.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
The above is a message I received from The Cloud. They are a bunch of chancers offering poor connectivity in cafes. I complained today that it had taken 9 minutes this morning from being "connected" to being offered a login page, during which time they told me that their own website did not exist.<br />
<br />
I await their bullshit reply.<br />
<br />
Then the screen cleared and I got this. Oops, which they can't spell, appears to have become an all purpose grunt along with with no problem. I find it patronising, particularly when I got there by following one of their own links.<br />
<br />
It reminds me a young schmuck who let me down recently and got very angry when I told him that and snarled "well I didnt leave enough time did I" as if that made it ok. i.e. it is always someone else's fault.<br />
<br />
The key to this damaged thought may be seen in their belief that something can be either "not here" or have been moved.<br />
<br />
<br />Lawrence Uptonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04525384870474390208noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2337647558651965532.post-62540526864975123862013-02-10T17:23:00.003+00:002013-02-11T14:05:32.158+00:00You blocks you stones you worse than senseless thingsThere is a bank system called 3d verification system. It is a piece of junk. It works intermittently. I have been unable to do wonderful things promised by the internet because the tosspots employed by the banks cannot program properly.<br />
<br />
It has cost me cheap tickets on FGW and skybus. FGW and skybus say nothing to do with them; it's the bank. The bank says nothing to do with them it's the company.<br />
<br />
So no error is ever reported and they say Well Mr Upton no one else has complained.<br />
<br />
That is, they refuse to record the complaint.<br />
<br />
Morgan Computers have now installed it.<br />
<br />
They seem to know it doesn't work because as they ask you to use it, they say if it doesn't work you might like to try something else.<br />
<br />
I just used and typed in the correct data. It said it wasn't correct. I did it again and then it said "an error occurred". Notice the impersonal language. No one's fault. It just happened. They say.<br />
<br />
So I can't buy the item these dumb oxen want to sell.<br />
<br />
I wasted all the time registering with them.<br />
<br />
As I came away, figuratively, I found an email comfirming my registration and confirming my password -- in plain text.<br />
<br />
They make us jump through security hoops that don't work and then send secure data in plain text.<br />
<br />
<br />
Moronic doesn't really begin to say itLawrence Uptonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04525384870474390208noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2337647558651965532.post-3550220828587070402013-01-18T21:16:00.002+00:002013-01-18T21:16:50.525+00:00Belief
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
I'm listening to Any
Questions and the nonsense objections to “gay marriage”.</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Someone just accused
the government of picking a fight “with people of faith”.</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
That's an interesting
phrase: people of faith. What does that mean?
</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
I can't make my
argument based just on what I have heard here on this programme
because I have heard relatively little of it.
</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
What I am doing here is
slightly dodgy in that I am referring to what I have heard here and
there; but maybe I can deal with that after.</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
It seems to me that the
phrase can bring together quite different belief sets. It would link
those of believe in transubstantiation and those who do not, for
instance. I pick that because it is such a wide difference. I was
brought up to believe in transubstantiation... It was taught at my
school, a roman catholic school later closed because it was such a
shambles (I simplify)</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Why, I wonder, did they
not teach that the world is flat? or that there are four elements:
earth, air, fire and water?</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
But, I believe the (ad
hoc) argument runs, that we should take notice of people who believe
in, for instance, transubstantiation because those who believe in
transubstantiation and those who do not believe in it but do believe
similarly unprovable things are in agreement on something else.</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Quakers, I think, would
have no problem with gay marriage. Are they not people who have
faith? I know many Quakers and doubt they would miss a breath at the
idea.</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
And also I believe it
is NOT all people of faith.
</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
For instance, I have
been accused of being a person of faith though my faith would be in
the unbelievability of most of the others. Recently I heard on the
radio someone or other dismissed the idea of faiths that are not
well-established being considered as faiths in this context. Whatever
that context is. It's all a bit vague.</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
I think a person of
faith has to be seen as powerful to be treated in this special way,
along with those of us who refer to logic and evidence. That's how
the dungheads think, I believe!</div>
Lawrence Uptonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04525384870474390208noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2337647558651965532.post-65281635434066263292013-01-08T11:33:00.000+00:002013-01-08T11:33:18.559+00:00I meant to say this ages ago.<br />
PREFACE<br />
I am no great supporter of the monarchy; no great supporter of a republic.<br />
Ousting the monarch is far from being a personal priority.<br />
OBSERVATION<br />
How miserable the Queen looked as she sat amongst her cabinet. How proud and full of themselves those arrogant buffoons looked <br />
<br />
<br />Lawrence Uptonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04525384870474390208noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2337647558651965532.post-8141441362427635912012-12-28T15:19:00.000+00:002012-12-28T15:19:32.344+00:00UntitledFlies on my skin.<br />
Rich on my world.Lawrence Uptonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04525384870474390208noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2337647558651965532.post-8790311750698541802012-12-21T11:09:00.001+00:002012-12-21T11:09:42.560+00:00Email to Mike Brown of Transport for LondonDear Mr Brown<br /><br />THIS IS A LETTER FOR MIKE BROWN HIMSELF AND I WOULD LIKE A REPLY FROM HIM<br /><br />Had you limited yourself to sending me a note informing me of the ASLEF strike, while I might have tutted at your unsatisfactory level of literacy, that would have been that. I would have been grateful for your assessment of the likely disruption.<br /><br />However, you went on to say <br /><br />“This Trade Union is making scandalous demands. Staff have already been paid to work on Boxing Day and I cannot spend your money paying them again for this.”<br /><br />I did not sign up to this email service for you to abuse it by sending me such unhelpful and apparently misleading statements. <br /><br />I found what you said offensive so I went to the ASLEF website to see what they had to say. <br /><br />They say: “Last year [TfL management – you] said they would begin talks ‘in the first quarter of the year’. They did not open discussions until a few weeks ago. "<br /><br />Is this true? <br /><br />I would be surprised if they would make such a statement if it were not substantially true. (As opposed, for instance, to the lie of omission of which I suspect you) If it is true, then you have failed to mention something rather importantly relevant. You have lied. So please do clarify that point. I want to know if a man in your position, paid with my money, is a liar.<br /><br />ASLEF say: “And at those discussions [TfL] offered precisely nothing. They have put forward no proposals. Every initiative has come from the union side – and been rejected.”<br /><br />What do you say to that Mr Brown?<br /><br />They say: “What we are asking for is not complex. We want a volunteer service on Boxing Day with those working getting more than flat time. An enhancement for this day will ensure members will be able to swap duties with someone who wishes to work.”<br /><br />What about that?<br /><br />And what about the following? “We have also offered to join a Joint Working Party to look at other Bank Holidays and service levels required for the future. Management has sat on its hands and offered nothing constructive to resolve this dispute, which is why we will take action on Boxing Day. It is because of their failure.”<br /><br />That's an awful lot you have failed to tell us.<br /><br />It makes your email to me rather scandalous, to use your word. You seem to be trying to substitute calumny for negotiation. What do you say?<br />
<br />
Lawrence UptonLawrence Uptonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04525384870474390208noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2337647558651965532.post-80730349147300138612012-12-15T17:19:00.001+00:002012-12-21T11:10:55.275+00:00In the agora<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0.2cm;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><b>Man
with laptop: </b>Excuse me, would you mind turning the sound on your
phone down or using headphones?</span></div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0.2cm;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><b>Man
with mobile phone:</b> What?</span></div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0.2cm;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><b>Man
with laptop:</b> I said, would you mind turning the sound on your
phone down or using headphones?</span></div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0.2cm;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><b>Man
with mobile phone:</b> Why should I? What's it to you?</span></div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0.2cm;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><b>Man
with laptop:</b> It's disturbing me.</span></div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0.2cm;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><b>Man
with mobile phone:</b> No it isn't.</span></div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0.2cm;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><b>Man
with laptop:</b> It's very loud and it's disturbing me.</span></div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0.2cm;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><b>Man
with a mobile phone: </b>No it isn't. How could it be? I can hardly
hear it myself. I have turned it down as much as I am going to.</span></div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0.2cm;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><b>Man
with laptop:</b> Perhaps you have damaged your hearing. Please turn
it down. It's disturbing me. </span>
</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0.2cm;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><b>Man
with a mobile phone:</b> It can't be. Fuck off.</span></div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0.2cm;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><b>Man
with a laptop:</b> Why would I lie?</span></div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0.2cm;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><b>Man
with a mobile phone:</b> Maybe you're a cunt.</span></div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0.2cm;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><b>Man
with a laptop:</b> So you refuse to stop behaving antisocially?</span></div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0.2cm;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><b>Man
with a mobile phone:</b> Fuck off, cunt.</span></div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0.2cm;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><b>Man
with a laptop:</b> Well, it's very kind of you to share your music
with me. I'd like you to hear some of mine. I'll just point the
speaker at you so you can hear it. It's really very quiet. You'll
have to listen cartefully.</span></div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0.2cm;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><b>Man
with a mobile phone:</b> Jesus Christ! You trying to deafen me?
What's that crap? That's just noise. Turn it down.</span></div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0.2cm;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><b>Man
with a laptop:</b> No, Sir. Why should I? You can't hear it.</span></div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0.2cm;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><b>Man
with a mobile phone: </b>Do want me to hit you?</span></div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0.2cm;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><b>Man
with a laptop:</b> Grow up.</span></div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0.2cm;">
<span style="font-family: Arial, sans-serif;"><b>Man
with a mobile phone:</b> Fuck off! Fuck off! <i>{exit]</i>, </span>
</div>
Lawrence Uptonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04525384870474390208noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2337647558651965532.post-88144859086138770742012-12-15T14:48:00.001+00:002012-12-15T14:48:10.799+00:00Birdsong and human speech
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
There's a bit in one of
the volumes of <u>Hitchhiker's Guide </u>where Arthur Dent learns to
understand birdsong but is disappointed that it is all about
wind speeds and the location of berries</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
I have been sitting in
the midst of Saturday conversations...</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br />
</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Human speech is mostly
about money and shopping and how stupid other people are</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
<br /></div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Maybe a few avians are interesting </div>
Lawrence Uptonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04525384870474390208noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2337647558651965532.post-33379233525778659062012-12-14T13:22:00.003+00:002012-12-15T17:19:45.155+00:00ExcellenceWhen the Prime Minister says that Maria Miller has given excellent answers to inquiries into her expenses, he is not saying that he thinks she is telling the truth. That question did not occur to either of them, I am sure.Lawrence Uptonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04525384870474390208noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2337647558651965532.post-17477594240494129112012-12-13T18:12:00.002+00:002012-12-13T18:27:31.011+00:00OperaOpera has crashed three times today.<br />
Perhaps if it were left to be a browser instead of part of a plan for world domination it wouldnt do that<br />
A few minutes have passed and now gmail is wobbly. Same comments.<br />
Ooops, it said, gmail encountered a problem.<br />
IndeedLawrence Uptonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04525384870474390208noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2337647558651965532.post-1834164996247200862012-12-13T18:11:00.002+00:002012-12-13T18:11:35.245+00:00Watch Higher Education go down the pan
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
One of my colleagues
works at a well-regarded university. They were part of a
whistle-blowing on a senior member of staff behaving illegally and
have found themselves threatened with disciplinary action.</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Another colleague has
been disciplined by their college for having taken time off, with
agreement, as they have for many years, to carry out duties related
to their teaching.</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
A third colleague tells
me that they do not know how to complete all the tutorials required
of them and that they have been told their career will be adversely
affected if they do not also follow a teacher training course without
any remission of hours – this third is an excellent teacher, I can
personally attest, and no one has criticised their teaching: it is
just nonsense dreamt up by those with management responsibility and
no spine to stand up to senior management with no ideas.</div>
<div class="western" style="margin-bottom: 0cm;">
Join me in watching
Higher Education going down the pan</div>
Lawrence Uptonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04525384870474390208noreply@blogger.com0