Untitled

Flies on my skin.
Rich on my world.

Email to Mike Brown of Transport for London

Dear Mr Brown

THIS IS A LETTER FOR MIKE BROWN HIMSELF AND I WOULD LIKE A REPLY FROM HIM

Had you limited yourself to sending me a note informing me of the ASLEF strike, while I might have tutted at your unsatisfactory level of literacy, that would have been that. I would have been grateful for your assessment of the likely disruption.

However, you went on to say

“This Trade Union is making scandalous demands. Staff have already been paid to work on Boxing Day and I cannot spend your money paying them again for this.”

I did not sign up to this email service for you to abuse it by sending me such unhelpful and apparently misleading statements.

I found what you said offensive so I went to the ASLEF website to see what they had to say.

They say: “Last year [TfL management – you] said they would begin talks ‘in the first quarter of the year’. They did not open discussions until a few weeks ago. "

Is this true?

I would be surprised if they would make such a statement if it were not substantially true. (As opposed, for instance, to the lie of omission of which I suspect you) If it is true, then you have failed to mention something rather importantly relevant. You have lied. So please do clarify that point. I want to know if a man in your position, paid with my money, is a liar.

ASLEF say: “And at those discussions [TfL] offered precisely nothing. They have put forward no proposals. Every initiative has come from the union side – and been rejected.”

What do you say to that Mr Brown?

They say: “What we are asking for is not complex. We want a volunteer service on Boxing Day with those working getting more than flat time. An enhancement for this day will ensure members will be able to swap duties with someone who wishes to work.”

What about that?

And what about the following? “We have also offered to join a Joint Working Party to look at other Bank Holidays and service levels required for the future. Management has sat on its hands and offered nothing constructive to resolve this dispute, which is why we will take action on Boxing Day. It is because of their failure.”

That's an awful lot you have failed to tell us.

It makes your email to me rather scandalous, to use your word. You seem to be trying to substitute calumny for negotiation. What do you say?

Lawrence Upton

In the agora

Man with laptop: Excuse me, would you mind turning the sound on your phone down or using headphones?

Man with mobile phone: What?

Man with laptop: I said, would you mind turning the sound on your phone down or using headphones?

Man with mobile phone: Why should I? What's it to you?

Man with laptop: It's disturbing me.

Man with mobile phone: No it isn't.

Man with laptop: It's very loud and it's disturbing me.

Man with a mobile phone: No it isn't. How could it be? I can hardly hear it myself. I have turned it down as much as I am going to.

Man with laptop: Perhaps you have damaged your hearing. Please turn it down. It's disturbing me.

Man with a mobile phone: It can't be. Fuck off.

Man with a laptop: Why would I lie?

Man with a mobile phone: Maybe you're a cunt.

Man with a laptop: So you refuse to stop behaving antisocially?

Man with a mobile phone: Fuck off, cunt.

Man with a laptop: Well, it's very kind of you to share your music with me. I'd like you to hear some of mine. I'll just point the speaker at you so you can hear it. It's really very quiet. You'll have to listen cartefully.

Man with a mobile phone: Jesus Christ! You trying to deafen me? What's that crap? That's just noise. Turn it down.

Man with a laptop: No, Sir. Why should I? You can't hear it.

Man with a mobile phone: Do want me to hit you?

Man with a laptop: Grow up.

Man with a mobile phone: Fuck off! Fuck off! {exit],

Birdsong and human speech

There's a bit in one of the volumes of Hitchhiker's Guide where Arthur Dent learns to understand birdsong but is disappointed that it is all about wind speeds and the location of berries

I have been sitting in the midst of Saturday conversations...

Human speech is mostly about money and shopping and how stupid other people are

Maybe a few avians are interesting

Excellence

When the Prime Minister says that Maria Miller has given excellent answers to inquiries into her expenses, he is not saying that he thinks she is telling the truth. That question did not occur to either of them, I am sure.

Opera

Opera has crashed three times today.
Perhaps if it were left to be a browser instead of part of a plan for world domination it wouldnt do that
A few minutes have passed and now gmail is wobbly. Same comments.
Ooops, it said, gmail encountered a problem.
Indeed

Watch Higher Education go down the pan

One of my colleagues works at a well-regarded university. They were part of a whistle-blowing on a senior member of staff behaving illegally and have found themselves threatened with disciplinary action.

Another colleague has been disciplined by their college for having taken time off, with agreement, as they have for many years, to carry out duties related to their teaching.

A third colleague tells me that they do not know how to complete all the tutorials required of them and that they have been told their career will be adversely affected if they do not also follow a teacher training course without any remission of hours – this third is an excellent teacher, I can personally attest, and no one has criticised their teaching: it is just nonsense dreamt up by those with management responsibility and no spine to stand up to senior management with no ideas.

Join me in watching Higher Education going down the pan