NARRATOR: We have a man
here in this cafe who is a researcher for a University. He has been
without his email for a month because the university has upgraded his
email. It seems to him that no one will criticise the I T
department. This annoys him.
He has just received an
email to his personal account from the I T Dept which tells him that
they have added information to his job number and gives him a link to
click. As the link requires that he have an up to date email account,
it will not work. This annoys him.
He emails them and
tells them that this same thing happened three weeks ago.
They write back and say
they are sorry but the reason they cannot reconnect him is because
they are waiting for a component. They add a link for further
information which does not work. This annoys him.
He emails them and asks: What component is it that singles out one user?
They write back and say
that the reason they cannot reconnect him is because they do not know
why they disconnected him. When they have found that out, then they
should be able to reconnect him. They add a link for further
information which does not work. This annoys him.
He writes back and says
that is is quite clear how the situation has arisen: they have not
followed good practice. He expands upon this in detail.
Through all this time a
child has been screaming. He is near to the man. He is a boy of two
years old at the most and he is making the maximum noise possible.
His mother is sipping a coffee placidly. His grandmother is reading a
magazine.
All around people are
making faces at each other. One says: You can't do anything can you?
MAN WITHOUT EMAIL: You two are being very selfish. Please keep your child quiet.
NARRATOR: The mother looks at the
man contemptuously and goes back to her coffee. The child screams.
The university write
back and say that the reason that they cannot reconnect him is
because there are ambiguities in their database which they do not
understand. When they have resolved that.... They add a link for
further information which does not work. This annoys him.
After some minutes, the
man without email loses his temper
MAN WITHOUT EMAIL: Shut
the noise
MAN WITH NEWSPAPER IN
FRONT OF HIS FACE: Hear! Hear!
NARRATOR: The man without email
says to the university that they should have checked the database
before using it and not after. (He does not actually believe their
story but suspects they will get genuinely upset if he says so; and
he has no idea how to deal with such shallow and baseless upset.) He
asks for his account to be restored.
Child screams.
MAN WITHOUT EMAIL: Shut
up!
MOTHER: All children
make a noise
MAN WITHOUT EMAIL: Some
parents teach them to be quiet or take them away from others
MOTHER: He's not
bothering you. No one else cares.
MAN WITHOUT EMAIL: He
is bothering me. That man cares but he may be scared to say so. Most
of us care but you take advantage of our politeness
MOTHER: He's a child.
You're an adult; act it.
MAN WITHOUT EMAIL: You
too are an adult. Take your responsibility as an adult.
MOTHER: You have grey
hair. You should know better. It's nothing to do with you.
NARRATOR Child screams.
The university ask the
man without email for his user name. They add a link for further
information which does not work. This annoys him.
MAN WITHOUT EMAIL: It's
everything to do with me.
MOTHER: You only think
that because you have a laptop.
NARRATOR Child screams.
MAN WITHOUT EMAIL:
What?!
MOTHER: You think
you're clever; but you're not. You're stupid. You think: I've got a
laptop so you must all do as I say.
NARRATOR: The man without email
points out that he gave the university his account data a month ago.
He repeats it.
MAN WITHOUT EMAIL:
You're a fool.
NARRATOR Child screams.
MAN WITH CLOSE CROPPED
HAIR: You're out of order mate. You can't speak to a woman like that.
NARRATOR The university I T
experts say that they cannot reconnect the man without email until
tomorrow after an overnight process has run. They add a link for
further information which does not work.
MAN WITHOUT EMAIL: Oh I
see. You think women should have special treatment do you?
MAN WITH CLOSE CROPPED
HAIRC: Yes.
NARRATOR Around him his
attendants nod agreement
Child screams.
MAN WITHOUT CLOSE
CROPPED HAIR: Anyone. All of us
MAN WITHOUT EMAIL:
Madam, will you keep that child quiet or at least quieter?
MAN WITHOUT CLOSE
CROPPED HAIR: You're a cunt
MAN WITHOUT EMAIL:
That's your best word for me is it?
MAN WITHOUT CLOSE
CROPPED HAIR: You are one
MAN WITHOUT EMAIL: So
much for your concern for women
MAN WITHOUT CLOSE
CROPPED HAIR: What you mean?
MAN WITHOUT EMAIL:
You're sexist. As sexist as she is selfish
MAN WITHOUT CLOSE
CROPPED HAIR: She's right. You do think you're clever. Listen mate
you're talking shit and you're a wanker and you're a cunt
NARRATOR Woman and mother and
screaming child leave, child still screaming
MAN WITHOUT CLOSE
CROPPED HAIR: You've driven them out.
MAN WITHOUT EMAIL: I'm
glad they've gone if they can't keep quiet
MAN WITHOUT CLOSE
CROPPED HAIR: You're arrogant you cunt
MAN WITHOUT EMAIL: In
what way?
MAN WITHOUT CLOSE
CROPPED HAIR: There's no point in talking to you (exeunt)
NARRATOR The man without
university email asks why the university didn't run the overnight
process a month ago. After a few minutes, by way of reply, they
apologise for any inconvenience. They add a link for further
information.
WAITRESS: It's quieter
now.
MAN WITHOUT EMAIL:
Sorry about that
WAITRESS: No, you're
right. People have no right behaving like that; but we're not allowed
to do anything
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