Recycling the pod people

There was a lot of fuss recently because a council didn't want members of UKIP adopting children. I think that's the way of it.

Yet they also said that they would ensure the children were raised in the religion of their parents. Why?

I think they were on the right track with the initial idea; but they didn't go far enough.

I can't see how anyone prepared to support UKIP is fit to raise a child. And as children are quite likely (but not of course certain) to follow their parents' beliefs, it becomes quite important to consider stopping whole classes of people from reproducing themselves.

A certain knowledge that they will not be able to keep their children would be a start. That should reduce the numbers considerably, especially if they still have to pay the costs.

They'll squeal about human rights; but it should be quite easy to demonstrate that the overwhelming fact which invalidates the call.

UKIP of course are more misguided, albeit dangerously, than pernicious; that honour belongs with the Conservative Party. We must, as a race, stop them reproducing before they swamp humanity.

There is no population explosion of humanity; only a population explosion of idiots who look like humans.

The Tories clearly see things from a similar perspective and are anxious to demolish all chance of productive labour by the remaining humans.

But who are they?

They are not human; that is certain. Some kind of interstellar virus perhaps. Let's just call them pod people.

In most places where the public gather, they carry out frequent sound tests - alarms, shrill bells and the like – and monitor the result. Most people take no notice; but that does not worry the monitors because they know that those people are not people; and they find that comforting.

It is those who look up, pained by the sound, that interest them. They watch us on cctv, noting with satisfaction that every day there are fewer of us.

We must resist these creatures. They do make mistakes. The pod person pretending to be Chancellor of the Exchequer demonstrably might as well be selling ice cream ffrom a van for all that he know what is expected of him; and he maintains a more smiley face than Kate Blanchette. I don't know about her; but he is clearly artificially.

You see, for all their cunning and ruthlessness, they are not that bright.

Because they go to so much trouble to look superficially like us, it is easy to see them as evil; but you might as well be angry with a bug. We need government action – though there is a small problem in that direction at present – to put them to sleep humanely. It is more kindly than their policy of humiliation; and our pets will have some fine meals until we are finished.