GAME CRIMES

Minor problems at my local station mid morning. A train going south was said to be delayed due to "an earlier operational incident" which could mean anything and probably means nothing. Then the next was just delayed.

Apparently the Games Police had boarded a train, seized hold of anyone not wearing union jacks on their clothing or as their clothing and interrogated them. Some were taken away and only then could there be what they call a normal service. All are to be charged with Games Crimes, one at least with the most serious LACK OF ENTHUSIASM FOR THE GAMES.

If found guilty, the example may be forced to attend all sessions of the Synchronised Mental Masturbation being staged at Palace of Westminster this autumn.

But many train delays are normal and attributable to almost 100% take up of Diarrhea Trains' policy of 5 minutes in the hour Solo Conjugal Break for their staff. Apparently SIGNALPERSON'S PARTNERS (formerly Signalmen's Wives) is especially raunchy during the Olympics with sports equipment taking the place of the usual knobs and levers in old fashioned signal boxes